As I reflect on my young adulthood so far, I smile because I am part of a generation of risk takers. Go getters. Rule breakers & re-makers. Despite these labels, I have spent a lot of time thinking about the future. I wish I could see myself in ten years to get a clear picture of the road ahead, when, in reality, the road is foggy & sometimes I end up feeling off-course. There is so much possibility in my life right now, & yet, maybe that's what scares me a bit. With all of these social experiences, aspirations, passions, & seemingly high expectations, it's easy to feel like I haven't found my place yet.
So, to the girl who feels a little lost...
I was you. I am still you, when something doesn't go as planned and it feels like life is becoming unfamiliar. The truth is, feeling lost is a part of finding yourself, whatever that means to you. I have thought long and hard about what that actually implies, & I have come to the conclusion that finding yourself is simply knowing yourself. It's about getting to know yourself on the deepest level...the parts you openly share with others, as well as those you keep hidden from the people you love, sometimes even yourself.
I think that to know yourself, you must find what you truly love, without persuasion or bias. Find what you love, do what you love, & share that love with others. After a while, I realized I could do the things that made me happy, & so I felt happy. It's amazing how simple that sounds. Do what you love, not what you think will make your life look better. As far as getting there, I will say this: Instead of worrying about who you will be when you find yourself, enjoy the journey.
Here's another thing i've learned: don't do what other people do. Maybe it's because I live in a big city where individuality is common, encouraged even. Maybe it's because I've been let down too many times by doing what I thought someone else wanted, trying to appease them in the process. It's your life, so why would you want it to be a carbon copy of someone else's?
Lastly, you should take chances. Read books that make you laugh & cry. Explore the planet we have been carefully placed on. Plan a trip with someone & save up for it. Learn what it's like to feel completely careless, rich, broke, elated & exhausted. Exercise your soul in a way that exposes yourself. Be giving & light up every room you enter. Walk slow & take everything in. Take these moments to realize what makes you who you are, & you have found it. Center yourself in this most comfortable state of you. Relish in it & embody it & never let anyone take it from you. Because even though you have felt lost, you have in fact been right where you needed to be all along.