Notes on Honesty, Intentionality, and Being Real with Yourself

Some people express themselves through art. They paint, draw, sculpt, design, or otherwise use their hands to make what they are feeling in some way visible or tangible. For me, I express myself through words. I write letters, scribble lines of poetry, & hold great song lyrics to the same level of importance as beloved quotes from classic literature. I love that, no matter what, I can always find a word to describe what i’m experiencing.

This year, there have been a few words on my heart in terms of my goals, happiness, & overall wellbeing: honest, intentional, & real. I haven’t been able to get them out of my head recently, so I thought i’d say what they mean to me in the best way I know how— by writing it down.

Honesty is more than just not lying. It is something that, when made a habit, can be quite liberating. I used to spend so much time and energy tiptoeing around the feelings of others because I thought my honest thoughts wouldn’t be what they wanted to hear. The truth is, most people value the thoughtfulness of an honest opinion.

I’ve learned that honesty is essential in my relationships, both with others and myself. Being honest with people means I get to be true to myself and my own thoughts. It’s empowering.

Being intentional was a difficult idea for me to grasp. I used to put intentional in the same pile as motivated and driven. While these words do share some similarities, they are far from synonymic. To me, being intentional can apply to almost anything. I like to associate being intentional with being purposeful. I often ask myself, “what is my purpose in doing this?”. There’s no wrong answer, but it’s still essential to ask myself that question because otherwise, I find myself putting energy into things that I don’t really see as important in the long run.

I started my own content service, Socially Speaking, as a result of this question. A few months ago, I was frustrated because I had a job that I didn’t really love. It wasn’t important to me and I wanted to be intentional with my time and energy, so I decided to put in the work and make a change that reflected my intentions.

I’ve ended and rethought relationships because of this question as well. I’ve had to think about what’s best for me and my happiness vs. what “just works” in a friendship or relationship.

Being intentional means having a sense of focus. It means that, despite failures, mistakes, and mishaps, I still have a clear idea of where I want to be.

I have to keep it real. I get caught up in what i’m feeling so much sometimes that it seems like I don’t know what’s genuine and what’s not. My feelings are a great indicator of what needs work and attention in my life, or just in my current mood.

The other day, I came across an Instagram post in my feed. It was posted by a girl I know fairly well, and she included a picture from her brand new website, which looked amazing. It reminded me of something I would do. I instantly felt jealous. I knew I could do the same thing, but she had done it before me. I took a step back and reminded myself to be real. What this really meant was that one of my friends had done something awesome. It meant that we have more in common than I had originally thought. As I thought through this, my feelings changed from jealousy to inspiration.

I’m still figuring it out. Until I do, I’ll use words to help navigate me through it all.

XX,

C&C

72 Hours in SoCal

July in southern California is what I wish every day could be like here in Charleston. The cool evenings require a light jacket and the zero percent humidity makes for great hair days! Earlier this month, I took a few days to venture over to the west coast, and it was nothing less than perfect. Check out what I packed into a 3 day stay:

Day 1: Venice Beach

Shopping on Abbot Kinney Blvd. Sweater: Forever 21. Pants: Zara. Top: Urban Outfitters. Bag: Rebecca Minkoff.

Dinner at The Rose Cafe in Venice. Try the sweet corn agnolotti!

Nightcap at our dreamy hotel, The Viceroy.

Day 2: Santa Monica & Malibu

A quick breakfast sandwich at Mel’s Drive-In.

A quick drive up the PCH will land you at The Malibu Village, a must-visit California shopping destination.

The Malibu Pier is perfect for views & photos. It’s less touristy than the Santa Monica pier & perfect for watching crowds of surfers ride the waves!

Day 3: Hollywood & Beverly Hills

This photo of me was taken at the pop-up Louis Vuitton exhibit & shop on Rodeo Drive. This colorful (and free) exhibition takes you through years of LV history, designs, and collaborations. A great activity when you need a break from shopping!

Life is about balance, & balance means going straight from the Beverly Wilshire Hotel on Rodeo to In-N-Out Burger in Hollywood for BOTH a chocolate and strawberry milkshake. This is the face of a girl who is contemplating how she might ship her clothes and cat to California so she doesn’t have to go back to South Carolina. Sigh. Jumpsuit: Alice + Olivia.

Here’s to the next weekend trip!

XX,

C&C

Letting Go

Now that summer is almost here, life seems to be coming back into focus.  The past few months have been a bit of a blur with school, work, dance rehearsals, and trying to fit in some time for friends and family.  

I noticed this exhaustingly fast pace, interestingly, only as it began to slow down.  Last week, I was sitting in my living room with two of my friends.  It was raining and we were talking about our plans for the upcoming week.  We made tentative plans to cook dinner together the next day.  While halfway focused on this conversation and halfway focused on my social media feeds, I happened upon a video.  It was one of those accidentally-viral clips of someone's pet doing something weird and hilarious.  I instantly and almost involuntarily let out a long, loud laugh.  It wasn't a polite or fleeting laugh.  It was an ugly belly laugh.  It felt good, and the feeling remained in me, like I had released something that had been weighing on me.  While I was catching my breath, my friend said, "Wow, I haven't heard you laugh like that in such a long time".  

I instantly wondered why.  

Why can't we, in the middle of our hectic lives, let out a good laugh?  Why can't we stop and breathe and just note the goodness in our lives, or focus on our own wellbeing for a moment?  

It's something I'm now striving to do for myself.  It's something I want all of my loved ones to know and take advantage of.  It's important to stop, take a second, and let go.  Let go of the tension in your shoulders.  Let go of the seriousness in your face.  Let go of the one thought that has been dragging you down all day.  Let go of negativity and hold tightly to positivity.  

It's simple, and it can be done in very simple ways, like:

• lighting a candle in your workspace
• stopping everything for five minutes to have a coffee break
• stretching
• scheduling a self-care session (Manicure, spa treatment, face mask at home, using an essential oil diffuser, etc)
• calling a friend just to talk
• calling your mom just to talk
• Writing about your day
• Writing about your goals
• Creating something 

XX

10 Things You Learn in Your 20's

Let me preface this post by saying that I don't know everything about being in my 20's, most evidently because I am only 22.  That being said, I have learned what it means to not be a teenager anymore.  For a while I didn't desire the responsibilities of being independent, but now that i'm out here, I wouldn't change anything. 

Don't let "Your 20's" be a cringe-worthy phrase associated with uncertainty and being broke. In the past two years I have strengthened friendships, lived in two new cities, defined my personal style, & travelled with some of the people I love most. I look forward to eight more years of growth. Here's what i've learned so far: 

1. Working multiple jobs at once is an incomparable experience

While living in New York City, I worked as a server, bartender, nanny, and I volunteered at the dance studio where I studied to get discounted classes.  Although the hustle was all too real at times, my schedule gave me the motivation I needed to feel productive every single day. 

2. Vulnerability is Necessary 

Once I realized I didn't know everything, it was like a weight had been lifted.  Learn things. Ask questions. Don't feel inferior  because you don't yet know how to file an insurance claim or do your taxes. 

3. Stop saying "I would never do that"

More importantly, how do you know you don't like something if you've never tried it? News flash, if you're waiting on the right time to change the way you live, this is the opportune moment.  

4. People don't judge you as much as you think

To say that I am a people pleaser is an understatement.  I still struggle with the "what will they think" question, but just grasping the fact that people are more concentrated on themselves than anyone else is crucial. Knowing this can help you choose things YOU love & make you more confident in your own decisions.  

5. It's okay to change your mind (and your dreams)

Don't keep doing something because you "feel like you should".  Follow what makes you so passionate that you have no choice but to speak about it.  Give yourself outlets.  Make change, even when the outcome is uncertain.  

6. Travel whenever you get the chance

Whether it be overseas or simply to another state, putting yourself in a new environment is refreshing & can change your perspective on life. 

7. Love can hurt, but...

It can also be the greatest. Getting to know someone & connecting with them on a deep level is something I take for granted sometimes.  

8. Nurture your values

Even if you are in a room of people who hate everything that you are, stay true to what you know is right.  Stand firm in what you believe is good, trustworthy, & praiseworthy. 

9. Stop saying sorry all the time

Be genuine with your feelings. Walking on eggshells & trying to keep everyone happy is simply impossible.  

10. Live transparently

 Think about who you are.  When you get home.  When you sing in the shower. With the lights off.  When you're not around other people.  Being fully honest & unapologetically yourself can be scary, & i'm still getting there, but so far it has made me feel incredibly liberated & empowered.  

XX

#The52ListsProject : Cheer Up

Happy Monday from Charleston! 

     It's amazing how the summer flew by.  Although it won't feel like fall in the south for a few more weeks, I decided to celebrate the coming season by ending the C&C hiatus with a #52List: 

 

     List the things that cheer you up. 

     I chose this one because it's so simple.  It causes you to think not only about the things that make you happy, but the things that make you feel good when circumstances/life/people make you feel less than 100%. 

    Although i'm a firm believer in the long-shower-giant-glass-of-water-&-a-nap philosophy, here are a few things I love to do when it's not the best day. 

1. Calling my mom, sister, or grandmother.

This deserves the number one spot for a couple of reasons.  I'm very close with my family, and most of them know how to make me laugh or talk me through a situation.  Also, my mom has given some of what are arguably the best pep talks of all time.  

2. Diet Coke

"My name is Lilli and i'm addicted to carbonated, artificially sweetened beverages.."

Or, whatever your favorite cheat food might be. If you don't have one, I recommend Cheetos. The puffy ones. 

3. Laughing hard.

(and not being able to stop)

We all know the feeling. Watch your favorite comedy TV show or call your funniest friend. 

4. Music.

Possibly the most important on the list. Sometimes when I don't feel great, I don't want to talk to anyone or do anything.  Bring on the headphones. Make a playlist. Zone out. 

5. Going on a long walk/run with headphones.

It's like, #4, but with exercise!

6. Reading small talk in my group text. 

Sometimes just talking and laughing about little things can help lift a bad mood or turn a bad day around. 

7. Creating something. 

There are so many ways to do this.  Cooking, writing, making something for someone you love.  Put your energy into something you can call your own. 

8. Reading a book that I can't put down. 

There are few better feelings than finishing a book and immediately wanting to read it again.  Read about something you love. Dive into a different story.  Give your mind a break. 

Make your own list! Write it. Save it. Post it. 

XX, 

C&C

Struggles of an Early Twenty-Something

What's the opposite of "the world is your oyster?"...

I'm currently living out my twenties. As I type this blog.  As i'm ignoring the fact that I have more bills to pay than dollars in my checking account.  As I stay awake wondering what the rest of my life will be like.  As I figure it out with the help of my equally ill-prepared best friends. As I call my mom to ask approximately how long I have until I have to get my own health insurance. 

With the constant trial and error lifestyle, however, comes a sense of individuality & independence.  We're figuring it out.  We're learning how to (sometimes) save money.  We're learning about friendship & love & how to ride the roller coaster that is life.  But sometimes the drop is unexpected & includes some struggles along the track:

You're in that in-the-middle stage of independence 

 sometimes it can be frustrating. I can pay for groceries OR gas, but not both, ok? 

The thought of living in the real world is a close reality

Ice cream for dinner & no bedtime sounds great until rent is due. 

You have to take yourself shopping

ah, the vivid memories of family shopping trips of yesteryear, when you would fight with your sister over a GAP sweatshirt. 

You can't remember the last time you ate a home cooked meal

no, baking a frozen pizza doesn't count. 

After 21, there are no more milestone birthdays you can really look forward to

wear that "  _____'s 21st BDAY BASH" poster board shaped like a margarita with PRIDE.

You're forced to decorate your own living spaces

 "Advanced IKEA furniture assembler" should be socially acceptable to put on a resume..

Having to explain Facebook to the kids you babysit

"It's a lot of weird videos & pictures of dogs, & you kind of just keep scrolling until your eyes hurt".

Navigating the chaos that is the dating world

Always google them before the first date

Not knowing what's to come

Will I ever graduate? Who's going to hire me once I do? Or will E! just use my life as a reality show? 

I still have so many questions, but it's nice to have a group of people to not know the answers with.  The unknown is full of possibility, right? 

XX

C&C

Life According to an Aspiring Artist

To me, Manhattan has never been a place of mixed feelings. You love it or you don't.  You stay away from it, or you let it take you head first until you're hooked. My situation matched the latter. In fact, until about two months ago, I was in a full-on relationship with NYC.  I was in love with everything it offered me.  If you've ever felt that way about anything, you know how hard the breakup can be....hence why my Facebook profile still reads "Lives in NY, NY". Still in the denial phase. 

Like so many others, I went to New York to pursue dreams. Art.  Opportunity.  I worked harder than ever & it felt nice to really go for something.  I put my all into being a dancer, & while I did not get everything I wanted, I learned so much about the industry, improved myself in ways i'm still figuring out, & found out what it means to really do what you love.  

That being said, it was not necessarily a glamorous experience.  Sometimes I found myself really wondering if this is what I was meant to do, but I was reassured and refreshed every time I went back to the dance studio. 

Here's what a normal day looked like:

6:45AM:  my phone alarm wakes me up.  I get up, wash my face, put my hair up, and walk to Starbucks.  My giant dance bag, which is filled with various dance shoes, makeup, snacks, a book, & extra dance clothes, bumps at least 3 people on the street. 

8AM: I arrive at my audition location.  It doesn't start until 9:30, but I'm still considered a non-union dancer, so unless I want to wait all morning, I have to get there early and put my name on the list.  Commence coffee drinking, book reading, and makeup doing.  

9:30AM: The first round of the audition, which is usually the only one. The casting team will keep dancers for multiple rounds, but a majority of people get cut in the beginning.  (Once, a casting director sought me out & told me she thought I was great, but I was just too tall, & that she would keep my information on file.  It was the highlight of my week.)

10:15AM: I leave the audition location & head to the dance studio.  The only good thing about getting a "no" at an audition is being able to take class after.  I take something light and fun, like Commercial Jazz or Theatre from one of my favorite choreographers.  

2:00PM: I leave the dance studio feeling good and search for some much-needed food! I weigh my options, including a smoothie shop, sushi bar, and takeout pizza place.  I choose pizza and vow to get the protein smoothie tomorrow. Time to head back to my apartment for a quick shower. 

3:15PM: I change into my work clothes (Casual, jeans & a t-shirt) and walk 6 blocks to the subway. I put in my headphones & walk fast, probably listening to whatever song I danced to in class that day because it's stuck in my head.  

4:00PM: Work. Either bartending or serving, depending on the day.  Pretty draining, but my co-workers are cool & I get to meet people from around the world.  I take drink orders as they peek up from their city maps only to ask me how to get to the Empire State Building.  

11:00PM: I walk from work to the bank & deposit my tips from the night.  I take a cab home instead of the subway because tomorrow's Saturday & I have to wake up at 5:30AM to babysit.  I go home, get ready for bed, & plan out my dance classes for the following week.  

12:30: Time for sleep. I live above a drag bar, so I have come to rely on the soft thumping of Katy Perry remixes to lull me to sleep from below, before I do it all again next week. 

That sounds crazy to me now. & awesome.  & I know a lot of people who are still doing it.  Shoutout  to everyone out there living the hustle every day!

As for me, I'm reverting back to the things that stole my heart in the first place: art. writing. travel. & dancing for fun.

Do what you love. 

XX, 

C&C

Relentlessly You.

In lieu of mass Superbowl LI sports talk, i'm choosing to focus on what I really watched the game for: the halftime show.  Anyone who knows me knows i've been a Lady Gaga fan since I locked myself in my bedroom at 13, only to emerge after having learned the Bad Romance music video choreography in its entirety. 

Aside from her evident "weird girl" aura, which I very much appreciate & relate to, I became drawn to her music upon realizing its artistic value & edge.  She was doing stuff no one ever did, & not everyone liked it, but guess what...she didn't care.  

Her expressed individuality and courage to be honest & real have inspired countless fans (or Monsters, as she calls them) to be themselves and share their voice with the world.  

Having said that, many internet meanies have since taken to their respective social media outlets to body shame LG for the way her stomach looked during her halftime performance.  And then she gave us this:

"I heard my body is a topic of conversation so I wanted to say, I'm proud of my body and you should be proud of yours too. No matter who you are or what you do. I could give you a million reasons why you don't need to cater to anyone or anything to succeed. Be you, and be relentlessly you. That's the stuff of champions. thank you so much everyone for supporting me. I love you guys. Xoxo, gaga"

In addition to her poised reaction to internet haters, she turns the conversation to focus on oneself & being "relentlessly you".  What if we all lived our lives regardless of what our peers, friends, or society thought? It's something I struggle with every day, but there is so much relief & empowerment in eliminating the "what will they think?" More importantly, who cares what they think? People are going to have their opinions about you no matter what, so do what you feel is right.  Wear an outfit because it compliments your personal style, not because you want compliments. A girl with honest originality is like a breath of fresh air.  

 

"I was never afraid of failure; for I would sooner fail than not be among the greatest." - John Keats

XX, 

C&C

@lilliserral

#The52ListsProject : Characters & People

Wondering what these nine people have in common? Not much, except for being some of my favorite book, play, television & movie characters.  Making this week's list was so much fun because it gave me a chance to look back on different parts of my life & see how these characters fit in.  

Here we go: 

1. Elizabeth Bennet (Pride & Prejudice)

One of the many leading ladies who lead me to discover & rediscover my love for reading.  

Best Traits: brilliantly clever, romantic, sharp, honest

Favorite Quote:  

"How humiliating is this discovery! Yet, how just a humiliation! Had I been in love, I could not have been more wretchedly blind! But vanity, not love, has been my folly. Pleased with the preference of one, and offended by the neglect of the other, on the very beginning of our acquaintance, I have courted prepossession and ignorance, and driven reason away, where either were concerned. Till this moment I never knew myself."

2. Violet (American Horror Story: Murder House)

I watched the entire first season of AHS over the course of three days & nights. Mostly because of her. 

Best traits: utterly cool & blasé, yet kindhearted & unconditionally loving

Favorite Quote:

"I used to think you were like me, you were attracted to the darkness.  But you are the darkness".  

 

3. Angelica Schuyler (Hamilton)

Okay, technically not a fictional character, but I love the way she is portrayed in the musical.

 Best traits: witty, intelligent, independent, brave, selfless

Favorite Quote:

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal...and when I meet Thomas Jefferson, imma compel him to include women in the sequel. Work!"

 

4. Jenna (Waitress)

A movie character who became one of my favorite people on Broadway. 

Best traits: persevering, innately good, reliable 

Favorite Quote: "She's imperfect, but she tries/ She is good, but she lies/ She is hard on herself/ She is broken and won't ask for help/ She is messy, but she's kind/ She is lonely most of the time/ She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie.."

 

5. Idgie Threadgoode (Fried Green Tomatoes)

A film that constantly reminds me of the importance of great friends & wild minds. 

Best traits: spontaneous, unreserved, one of a kind, good with bees 

Favorite quote: "I found out what the secret to life is: friends. Best friends".  

 

6. Nigel (The Devil Wears Prada)

Don't ask me to explain my obsession with Stanley Tucci, because I cannot. 

Best traits: well spoken, more poised than half the women in New York City, impeccably dressed

Favorite quote:

Andy: "I love that! Will it fit me?"

Nigel: "A little Crisco and some fishing wire and we'll be in business!"

 

7. Eponine (Les Miserables)

Arguably the greatest tale of unrequited love in existence. 

Best traits: loyal, tough, hopelessly & unapolagetically in love

Favorite quote: "Rain will make the flowers grow".  

 

8. Susie Salmon (The Lovely Bones)

Read the book and you'll understand why. Also watch the movie for Stanley Tucci.

Best Traits: youthful, beautiful mind, sees the best in people & the world

Favorite Quote: "I had taken this time to fall in love with the sort of helplessness I had not felt in death- the helplessness of being alive, the dark, bright pity of being human".  

 

9. Ruth (The Bible)

I have been compared to Ruth only once in my life: the day I graduated from high school.  Being spoken of in the likeness of someone of that importance is as special and uplifting as you would think, making Ruth my last and most important character.  

Best traits: patient, respectful, courageous, a great leader, an even better follower

Favorite quote: "But Ruth replied, 'Do not urge me to leave you or to turn back from you.  Where you go, I will go.  Where you stay, I will stay.  Your people will be my people and your God my God' ".   

 

Write down your own favorites.  Strive to bring out their best qualities in yourself. 

 

XX

#The52ListsProject : Goals & Dreams

Making lists is a part of my life. I make lists for things to do, things to buy, outfit ideas, blog concepts, and my personal favorite, wish lists.  When I stumbled upon The 52 Lists Project, I was pleasantly surprised that all of the lists encouraged me to write about things or ideas I already had, or can easily obtain. 

Even if You're not a list person, this book is great for de-stressing, mood boosting, or just setting aside a part of your week to focus on something light hearted & fun! 

The first prompt: "List your goals and dreams for this year"

Here are mine:

• Finish my NYC bucket list  I scribbled it on the back of a restaurant receipt) 
•  
• Live somewhere new & support myself
•  
• Make new, great memories with my family
•  
• write a full-length piece & have it published in a magazine 
•  
• fill my writing journal with stories about my life
•  
• travel to a state i've never been to 
•  
• reconnect with old friends
•  
• learn about a new art form 
•  
• relax
•  
• work hard
•  
• step back & take in something from everyone I meet

Think about your goals & dreams of the next year. write them down. share them. or don't. be realistic but don't let your goals get in the way of anything. 

XX

To the Girl Who Feels a Little Lost

As I reflect on my young adulthood so far, I smile because I am part of a generation of risk takers. Go getters.  Rule breakers & re-makers.  Despite these labels, I have spent a lot of time thinking about the future.  I wish I could see myself in ten years to get a clear picture of the road ahead, when, in reality, the road is foggy & sometimes I end up feeling off-course.  There is so much possibility in my life right now, & yet, maybe that's what scares me a bit.  With all of these social experiences, aspirations, passions, & seemingly high expectations, it's easy to feel like I haven't found my place yet. 

So, to the girl who feels a little lost...

I was you.  I am still you, when something doesn't go as planned and it feels like life is becoming unfamiliar.  The truth is, feeling lost is a part of finding yourself, whatever that means to you.  I have thought long and hard about what that actually implies, & I have come to the conclusion that finding yourself is simply knowing yourself.  It's about getting to know yourself on the deepest level...the parts you openly share with others, as well as those you keep hidden from the people you love, sometimes even yourself.  

I think that to know yourself, you must find what you truly love, without persuasion or bias.  Find what you love, do what you love, & share that love with others.  After a while, I realized I could do the things that made me happy, & so I felt happy.  It's amazing how simple that sounds.  Do what you love, not what you think will make your life look better.  As far as getting there, I will say this: Instead of worrying about who you will be when you find yourself, enjoy the journey.  

Here's another thing i've learned: don't do what other people do.  Maybe it's because I live in a big city where individuality is common, encouraged even.  Maybe it's because I've been let down too many times by doing what I thought someone else wanted, trying to appease them in the process.  It's your life, so why would you want it  to be a carbon copy of someone else's? 

Lastly, you should take chances.  Read books that make you laugh & cry.  Explore the planet we have been carefully placed on.  Plan a trip with someone & save up for it.  Learn what it's like to feel completely careless, rich, broke, elated & exhausted.  Exercise your soul in a way that exposes yourself. Be giving & light up every room you enter.  Walk slow & take everything in.  Take these moments to realize what makes you who you are, & you have found it.  Center yourself in this most comfortable state of you.  Relish in it & embody it & never let anyone take it from you.  Because even though you have felt lost, you have in fact been right where you needed to be all along.  

XX, 

C&C

The Cold Tangerines Mantra

I've been feeling inspired lately.  By art. By this city. By people & the words they put together to create something meaningful.  I recently finished a wonderful book called Cold Tangerines by Shauna Niequist, recommended by a dear friend.  Now, this is in no way a book review, i'm just flat out telling you to trust me & go buy the thing. You can purchase online here.  

Anyway, on the back cover of the book there is a paragraph which can only be described as the most amazing, smile-inducing life mantra I have ever read.  Here it is:

“I want a life that sizzles and pops and makes me laugh out loud. And I don't want to get to the end, or to tomorrow, even, and realize that my life is a collection of meetings and pop cans and errands and receipts and dirty dishes. I want to eat cold tangerines and sing out loud in the car with the windows open and wear pink shoes and stay up all night laughing and paint my walls the exact color of the sky right now. I want to sleep hard on clean white sheets and throw parties and eat ripe tomatoes and read books so good they make me jump up and down, and I want my everyday to make God belly laugh, glad that he gave life to someone who loves the gift.”

The first time I read this, I got chills. Not because I wasn't living my life this way, but because Niequist describes life as a "gift".  We are presented with the chance to squeeze every ounce of opportunity from our time here on earth, so why not do it? In response to these words, I wrote my own affirmation:

"I'd like to be able to close my eyes & see all the good things about my life, without even thinking about it. I want to feel full of love, so full that I have to send it back out to others in response. I want to grow & travel & try every flavor of ice cream at least once. I want to write about things that make you remember the times you laughed the longest, cried the hardest, & felt like you were exactly where you were supposed to be. I want to move in a way that speaks to you and shakes you and makes you want to hold on tight.  I want to play music without headphones & take the stairs three at a time & learn something about this life from every person I meet."

Few feelings are better than the one you get when you know exactly what you want.  Write your affirmation. Type it. Scribble it. Tweet it.  Tape it to your bathroom mirror. And never forget it.

XX,

C&C 

Sledding Champ, Germany 2015

The Possibility in Possibility

Hi all-

  Many posts here at C&C are geared toward the fearless fashionista with confidence of steel and four-inch heels, but I thought it necessary to switch things up a little.

Why? Because not everyone is born with the innate ability to conquer the world, or even a hot yoga class for that matter.  Sometimes you feel unsure, unsteady, or like the world is working against you. Sometimes you let someone cut in front of you at Starbucks and they order the very last chocolate croissant. Sometimes you walk into work and wonder why your manager is in a bad mood for the THIRD day in a row.  You wonder why some people don’t like you. You question your adulthood because you have no idea how to clean an oven. You try hard, but it isn’t paying off.

Well i’ve got some news for you: it’s okay. 

Not to sound so sagacious here or anything.  I’m one hundred percent in the same boat.  However, this year in particular has taught me that it’s okay to not have it all figured out right now.  At twenty, i’m at the opportune age to make the biggest, and arguably the best mistakes of my life.  The ones that will teach me who I am, what I want, and hopefully lead me straight to a fully satisfying and excitingly enjoyable life. View the uncertainty as prospect. Take a second to see the possibility in possibility.  Put off school for one year.  Move to a new city.  Make new friends.  Wear what you want without caring what anyone thinks. Do things the wrong way. Eat a doughnut.  Read.  Travel.  Document the journey.  Make confident* decisions knowing that there is a reason why you are where you are right now.

*(a note on confidence: the dictionary describes this word as certitude and/or assurance. Now, I don’t mean to correct the dictionary people here [by the way, who actually writes the definitions for dictionaries?? Brackets are supposed to go inside here right? I think they’re the second level of secondary information. The “parentheses of parentheses”, if you will.] Anyway, in my book [or dictionary], confidence has absolutely nothing to do with being ABSOLUTELY sure. About anything.  It’s about having enough faith in something to give it your full trust, and LOOKING like you’re sure on the outside. For instance, I was completely confident a few minutes ago while ordering a grande nonfat caramel macchiato no whipped cream with an extra shot of expresso, when in reality I just heard that in a movie once and was hoping it would turn out like the creamy brown and white beverage i’d been imagining ever since…[it did, by the way].  The point is, being confident is a choice and a state of mind, as well as a fabulous asset.)

F. Scott Fitzgerald once said, “For what it’s worth, it’s never too late to be who you want to be. I hope you live a life you are proud of.  If you find you are not, I hope you find the strength to start all over again”.

Don’t wait for it! Your life is waiting to be filled.  Think: What do you really want to do? How will you get there? What will you wear?

Thanks for listening.  Now go ahead and jump into all that possibility (and look good while doing it!)

XX,

C&C